Earliest Memories

1988

My earliest memory is the layout of “the blue house.” I can’t remember if the house was actually blue but I do remember that if I stood in the living room I could look into the bathroom and the door to my parent’s room would be on the right and “our” room on the left. Another memory of that house is snuggling my mom in her water bed while wearing my pink silky pjs. I had an obsession with silk, it all started with breast feeding. And my mom was often horrified when as a baby and toddler I would reach into others shirts hoping to sooth myself by rubbing their silkys too.

It was in this house that I remember running to my mom asking her if the toys under the bed were really my parents and if I was adopted. Because for some reason as a kid the worst thing your siblings can tell you is that you were adopted. But it was a little sci-fi-ish that they said my parents were the toys under the bed. My mother always soothed my fears and I would confidently return to my sisters and brother and tell them I was, in fact, not adopted. They would then tell me, “Mom doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so she is lying to you.” A never ending cycle.

June 21, 1990

 When I was four we moved into a duplex in old town Provo, “the Maeser House,” it was across the street catty-corner from our elementary school, Maeser Elementary. As we unloaded boxes the neighbors came over to meet us. The Clark’s had two children a daughter Abigail, 4, and son Daniel, 2. Later that day Abigail brought me a birthday present, yep we spent my birthday moving, it wasn’t traumatic for me because all I remember from that day was the lipstick, gimmicky stuff that looked green but when you put it on turned red. I loved that lipstick and over the years Abi and I have given that as birthday gifts to each other just for fun.